Grimly's 6 Tricks to Eternal Beauty

Grimly's 6 Tricks to Eternal Beauty



Welcome to the Underworld, where the wicked never rest and everyone is drop-dead gorgeous (no pun intended).

Don't worry, I won't ask how you found your way here. All that matters is that you're here now, so we might as well make the most out of it!

Face it, you don't stay THIS (*sweeps a boney hand from my head to toe dramatically*) dangerously gorgeous for eternity without a proper skin routine.

I mean, could you imagine looking like that (*gestures toward a random mortal vaguely*) for eternity!? No wonder people are scared of Death.

Lucky for you, you found me, and I'm in a sharing mood!



I cannot stress this enough, put on your sunscreen!!!

There are very few good things that mortals created in the universe, sunscreen is at the top of the list--- after Pumpkin Chai latte's but before reality tv.

Hell-O!!!! We are literally sunbathing in an eternal inferno, soaking in Uranium levels of radiation every minute, sunscreen is non-negotiable. Bathe in it like Cleopatra bathed in milk. There is a reason she was considered the most beautiful woman. 



Just because you are dead inside, doesn't mean that you need to look dead on the outside! Get rid of the dead skin cells, they are aging you! Use a simple sugar scrub once or twice a week to leave your skin looking angelic (no, it won't earn you Ascension Points to the Pearly Gates, but you will look and feel amazing!)



If you want to be a mummy, move to Egypt and get yourself a crypt, otherwise MOISTURIZE!!!

Dry skin is so 1600's. I know, I was there. Talk about a nightmare! People were ashy, oily, and smelled like week old gym socks.



I do love me some caffeine, but it dehydrates you from the inside out.

Down here, we’ve got rivers of lava, but what you really need is plain old water. Drink up!

Hydrated skin is happy skin, and even us denizens of the deep need to keep those cells plumped and fresh.

Think of it as your personal Fountain of Youth, minus the mortal peril.



Yes, I know, the Underworld never sleeps, but you should!

Beauty sleep isn't just a mortal myth. It's when your skin repairs itself, so aim for a solid 8 hours in your cozy crypt.

If you find insomnia creeping up, just count lost souls.



We might be surrounded by hellfire and brimstone, but that’s no excuse for a lousy diet. When you're not eating the souls of sinners, feast on a diet rich in antioxidants – think pomegranate seeds, walnuts, and dark chocolate.

These hellishly good treats will keep your skin radiant, and your soul satisfied.


So there you have it, darlings. Follow these tips, and you'll be the envy of the Underworld. Remember, just because we're stuck here for eternity doesn't mean we can't look fabulous doing it!

Stay gorgeous!









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